Home > Yellow bumps (story, 2015)

Yellow bumps

This guy went into space. On his own. In a cute little space ship, a totally kawaii space ship. This guy-I can't remember his name, but it was really normal, like Phil Bates or something-lifted the helmet visor. As soon as he did this, small yellow bumps quickly broke out all over his head. Hundreds of different-sized, yellow-as-egg-yolk hemispheres, slightly furry, like mould. He opened his mouth to scream, but the yellow bumps spread into his mouth, onto his tongue, down his throat, into his lungs. Moments later he was dead. The ship circled Earth for a day or so, then re-entered the atmosphere and crashed in a forest in Poland. The yellow bumps killed a man walking his dog in the forest. The yellow bumps killed a farmer. The yellow bumps killed the farmer's brother and the farmer's son. The yellow bumps killed all the men in the farmer's village, then all the men in the farmer's voivodeship. People in bordering countries started to worry. Only men were dying. Of course, women were shocked, sad, concerned for their loved ones, but, y'know, it was only men that were dying. Some people took selfies holding yellow round things next to their faces, pulling a "I'm dying" face. It was a meme on the Internet. There were reports that men could survive being exposed to small amounts of yellow bumps. But it was too late for me. Maybe some men survived, maybe not. I didn't.